Episode 12: Jennifer Fredricksen- A special mothers day episode- exploring the generational impacts of the mother/child bond

Episode 12: Jennifer Fredricksen- A special mothers day episode- exploring the generational impacts of the mother/child bond

Jennifer comes on the podcast discuss generational trauma, and its impact on families. Jennifer tells her complex story of how adoption, and disruption of the mother/child bond affected her family for generations. When Jennifer’s daughter became pregnant as a senior in high school,  she, along with her family, decided to place the child for adoption. After the placement they came to the realization that adoption wasn’t all that was promised, and the trauma left an open hole in the heart of their family. Despite discovering all this, and coming to terms with it, Jennifer had a deep down feeling that something else inside her had driven her to think that having her daughter place the child was ok. Through the help of counseling, Jennifer realized how having a mother who placed a son for adoption before her birth, and then abandoned her at age 5- affected how she bonded and related with her children. We wrap up talking about how to end the generational trauma we all carry, the trauma that was passed down to us from the generations that came before.

 

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Episode 12: Jennifer Fredricksen- A special mothers day episode- exploring the generational impacts of the mother/child bond
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  • Hello Jenifer I am a birth mother and daughter Dominque Kowet hates me she was brainwashed by her mother tellin Her to hate me and being mean to me I am 76 and not a phone call I start looking for her when she was 23 I sent her and my grandsons gifts 🎁 I have. Even praying es on Mother’s Day or Ger birthday or mine or Christine She has hurt me so like I am
    Nothing and my grandson said to me I don’t believe u are my grandma 👵 have had s lot of pain in my heartShe would not anything her kids or the life she has without me her mother

    Joyce m Resnick
    Reply
    • thank you so much for listening to the podcast, and sharing your experience!

      Francie Frisbie
      Reply
  • Time for a Dissenting Opinion
    1. Evidently the mother who was part of insisting that her daughter relinquish her own GRANDCHILD is still refusing to see her own responsibility in her daughter’s misery….because then it was all about HER pushing towards that end. Now she says she watched it play out …. What a shame she didn’t focus upon the reality of giving away a grandchild -because her daughter is perhaps going to university…. or whatever. Heal yourself woman, before daring to try healing others! (What someone’s mother or grandmother did has very little to do with what one chooses as an adult.) Others who were the grandmother kept their grandchild in the family… my paternal grandmother did. How is it that she had the wisdom that to many don’t?
    2. How coud she not have known that open adoption is fraudulent and always on the side of the adopters?
    3. I had a chuckle over the Freud insertion… he is essentially now persona non-grata in academia … in case she/you didn’t notice…
    4. Out of curiosity, wherever do you get the idea that a child of sentient age who is abandoned (with a younger sibling) and separated from another younger sib-who was kept with his parents- not suffer maternal-child separation? Not only do we suffer this, it is far more traumatic because we are sentient at the time. WE not only remember the incident of being left alone, we are reminded of being abandoned each time we are left by other-be it as children or as adults. To this day I remember vividly the day my brother was taken away in my parent’s car while my little sister clung to me in utter terror, which grew far worse when she was pulled out of my arms by a male … and I was dragged in the opposite direction … that was 1948… I was adopted about 3 years later. I never saw my sister or brother again, nor my parents.
    5. I remember things and know things that no child should suffer on be aware of. Care to see my ACE scores -because of parents, adopters and a society which allowed the multiple abuses to be visited upon me? And you dare suggest forgiveness? Are you daft?
    6. I am a grandmother of a two and a half year old whom I have never met. He calls his grandfather’s (my former husband) wife ‘grandmother’. Why? Because I dared tell a woman (my son’s wife) about pregnancy no-nos on the basis of my OB/GYN nursing experience and knowledge. In some states (like Texas) a grandmother is not considered family … Fortunately there is FB where a friend can sometimes find photos of my grandson. My son only knows that I was adopted, not the narrative that goes with it, nor anything about my own ancestry or my two sibs …these I discovered long after my son had decided to live with his father when he was 11 years old.
    7. The Creator, no matter by what name you call him, chose the male and female who conceived the child for that child’s parents. He/she has 50% of each of his/her parents’ genes, 25% of the grandparents’ genes, and so forth. No court can change nature or DNA, not make a Djamel into a James by court order ans a signature in ink on a sealed document-one which sadly may well become sealed. We are our DNA, something adopters -unless they are kith and kin to our parents-do not share one centimorgan (cM) with us.
    8. Please change the name of your group… Adoption Advocacy is for those who are pro-adoption, not for we who would ban it if we could garner enough support. Only in the West is adoption acceptable… Islam forbids it, as do other relions and other non-western nations.
    9. Trauma is not exclusive to adoptees. It is a part of everyone’s life in one form or another in various degrees nd kind.

    Rachida Djebel
    Reply
    • thank you for sharing! I believe everyones perspective is important! Through my experience with Jennifer, she is navigating her journey the best way she can, and she makes a sincere effort in moving toward healing herself and her family. It takes a lot of courage to admit that what you did was wrong, and ask for help. As we know many people are stubborn and will defend themselves till the end, Jennifer is open and interested in the theory epigenetics, and healing her family.

      My goal for this podcast is to advocate for those affected by adoption. I advocate for their voices to be heard, and their experiences be acknowledged. No one persons experience is more real or valid than another- good, bad or indifferent. Thank you for sharing your experience, I cannot imagine what that must be like for you- no one should have to go through that. Everyone has their own theories on psychology, religion, and so on and so forth. I do not claim to have the answers or know what is right. I also do not believe adoption is a black and white issue. Every story is different. Every experience different. I have met people whose lives were made horrific due to adoption, and peoples whose lives have been saved by adoption — both valid and important experiences. I named my podcast adoption advocacy because i want to advocate for those experiences, i want to advocate for whats real in adoption and advocate for what needs to be changed. We all need to come together to change the societal narrative and make adoption better, no one group of the triad will do it alone.

      Any dissenting opinion is more than welcome on my platform, i just ask that we be open to listening to the experiences of others, just like we would like to be listened to.

      Trauma is absolutely not exclusive to adoptees, or those touched by adoption. But, understanding trauma is fundamental to healing. Adoptee trauma is a unique trauma that is not recognized by society, so its very important that we talk about it. That way we can better serve the adoption community, support adoptees, and help young adoptees growing up today. We need to work with adoptive parents and educate them on adoption, they are the purse strings after all and caring for young adoptees today; and we can only do this by sharing our experiences- all the many different experiences of adoption

      Francie Frisbie
      Reply

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